Senior Year
by White Firebird
Summary: Sam and Cat are graduating soon, and with that comes an uncertain future for the two of them as they try to juggle their babysitting jobs, loads of school work...and all these new emotions that are threatening to pull them closer together or tear them apart at the seams.
1. August is over

_August 15th – Two weeks until senior year begins_

It wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Okay, maybe it was.

But it definitely wasn't supposed to happen as quickly as it did, that much you're sure of.

Or maybe it was?

You're not sure. You're not sure of _anything_ anymore. You haven't been for some time.

Not since she entered your life.

"I'm home!"

Your eyes dart to the front door, where you see her entering the apartment, smiling that dazzling smile of hers. You try to look away from her, to focus your attention on something, anything else, but nope, your eyes keep finding their way back to her. She's not even doing anything right now, just putting her keys in the bowl and telling you about how much homework she has to do.

But you're staring at her as if she's the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.

She hasn't picked up on it, not yet at least, as she bounds past your position on the couch to the kitchen. Your eyes follow her every movement, because you've decided that watching her do something as simple and mundane as wash her hands is infinitely more worthy of your attention than whatever it was you were doing on your laptop. What were you doing on your laptop anyway?

You manage to tear your eyes off of her for the briefest of moments to glance at the illuminated screen in front of you. Oh. You were looking at the courses you were due to take for the upcoming school year. Why were you doing that again?

Her voice then enters your head and you remember her scolding you for being neglectful with it, that you should've done this weeks ago. Something about it being your senior year and how you needed to graduate or whatever. That wasn't important. Well, actually it kinda was. But it wasn't important right now.

Finally, she notices that you've been staring at her. She tilts her head to the side, very much like the animal she's named after, the faintest hint of a grin beginning to spread across her lips. "Hi?" she asked more than said, the grin becoming a full blown smile as she puts her backpack down on the island.

It occurs to you at some point within the next ten seconds that you're still staring at her and you haven't said a word yet. You probably should, but said words are escaping you right now. So you continue to stare at her. The silence in the room is beginning to feel awkward, but you seemingly can't do anything about that, so she clears her throat and speaks up again.

"Sam? Is everything okay?"

Still more silence. You felt your lower lip twitch but that was about it. Her eyes begin to widen and show more concern; that's when she brings her hands up to her mouth, gasping loudly like some southern belle.

"You didn't eat another one of those cans of fruit cocktail again, did you!?"

That's finally enough to snap you from your reverie and bring you back to reality and oh my good god you were staring at her for like three minutes straight without saying a word when did you become so damn creepy. Quick, Puckett. Think on your feet. Say something.

"I was just…uh, there was…you see, it's funny…so how was school?"

You're inwardly cringing so hard now, and the grimace you feel appear on your lips only confirms that. If she noticed it, she didn't let on that she did. Instead, a look of frustration was now drawn across her face as she mumbled something under her breath about how everything was stupid. "Cat? What happened?"

More mumbling. You managed to make out the words 'Robbie', 'Rex' and 'buttface' as she angrily dug through her backpack for her textbooks, hastily throwing them onto the island before stalking over to the fridge. You begin to feel anger bubble up inside you as well, your left hand balling up into a fist. You didn't really care for Robbie that much to begin with, and now you have every reason to mangle his bespectacled face if he did anything to upset her.

"Do you wanna talk about it, maybe?" You try to sound as neutral as possible, not wanting to sound too concerned but also not wanting to completely disregard her feelings. She sits down next to you on the couch and puts her head on your shoulder, and suddenly your entire body feels like it's on fire and your cheeks are turning a bright shade of pink, you're certain. That's all she had to do to get you feeling like you were about to spontaneously combust. Jesus _Christ_.

"I'm beginning to understand why you don't like many people", she blurted out in that soft, almost squeaky voice of hers, and hearing it every day was like music to your unrefined ears. "They're a bunch of mean stupid heads."

You bite your laughter back along with your tongue. She always did have such an eloquent way with her words. "What did Glasses say to you this time?"

She sits up straight and gives you her best stern look, eyebrows knitted and lips pursed tightly together. "His name is Robbie, Sam, and he didn't say anything."

A sigh slips thru your lips. "Okay, what did that weird puppet of his say, then?"

She grows quiet, eyes darting down to her hands as she began to nervously wring them. "I don't wanna say", she barely whispered, looking for all the world like she was about to break down crying. "It was really rude."

Your right hand is now balled up into a fist, and you have half a mind to storm out of here and go to that dork's home and beat the stuffing out of his ugly face. The tiniest of smiles appears on your lips for an all too fleeting moment as you imagine yourself whaling on him and hearing him cry for his mother. You only stop thinking about it when her head is back on your shoulder, the sounds of her sniffles only making you angrier.

"Cat", you drawl her name out, resisting the urge to wrap an arm around her to comfort her. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what that wooden abomination said that's made you this upset."

She doesn't look at you, but you can practically hear the internal debate she's having with herself, the rational and irrational sides debating the pros and cons of telling you. She wipes at her nose with the back of her hand and lets a deep sigh escape her lips, removing her head from your shoulder once more so she can face you.

"Do you promise not to, y'know, get murderous if I tell you?"

"I'll try my best", is all you can manage to give her, which seems good enough for her, because she takes your hands in her own, seemingly unaware at how hot to the touch your skin was at this exact moment. You grunt disapprovingly, more so at yourself, because if she holds onto your hands any longer, you'll melt, and you'd be no good to her if you were just a puddle of goo and blonde hair.

You watch as she looks around the apartment, eyes everywhere but on you, and you appreciate that right now; if she were to look at you with those big, doe brown eyes of hers, probably wet with tears that she was holding back, you'd literally die. Dead. Goodbye. Arrivederci. Hasta luego. You'd be upstairs with all the chickens you've eaten.

"Well, we had to act out scenes for a play in Sikowitz's class today…I messed up one line, and Rex said that I was the worst actress he had ever seen and that I should go back to Stupidville…"

You pull your hands away from hers and immediately make a beeline towards the front door, never mind that you weren't wearing pants or shoes, you just had one thing on your mind right now; throwing Rex in a wood chipper.

Before you could storm out into the open in your halfway birthday suit, however, Cat's already there, throwing herself in front of the door to prevent you from going any further. You groan in frustration, briefly contemplating the idea of forcibly pushing her out of the way, but you steel yourself and try to give her your best irritated face.

"Cat", you said slowly as you tap your foot impatiently on the floor, still oblivious to the fact that you were wearing fewer clothes than usual. "I need you to move so I can beat Rex to death with my baseball bat."

"But you promised me you wouldn't!", she cried, not wanting to give you an inch in this little tête-à-tête. "And you never break a promise!"

You couldn't help but chuckle a bit at that statement. She obviously didn't know you that well if she was saying this. Which, at this point, she should. You've only been living together for close to a year now.

"I'm not going to actually kill him. Maybe break one of his arms off. But not, you know", you pantomime what actually killing the freaky little puppet would look like, and you're surprised that you've made her smile. You can't help but smile back at her and oh god what's wrong with you, _what the actual fuck_ is wrong with you?

She swiftly shakes her head (say that five times fast), the smile disappearing just as quickly as it had appeared. "You're not even wearing pants! You can't leave looking like that!"

Looking down at yourself, you see that, indeed, you weren't wearing that particular article of clothing. Huh.

"I'm Sam Puckett, I can do whatever I want, and what I want to do is beat the crap out of a puppet!" You take a moment to let the ridiculous nature of that statement sink in. It didn't get any less ludicrous the more you thought about it.

"But your last name is Puckell!"

And just like that, any anger or rage or murderous intentions you were feeling are gone and thrown out the window like a moldy taco, instead replaced with the overwhelming urge to shake the girl by her shoulders and remind her for the umpteenth time that it's **P-U-C-K-E-T-T**, or to begin laughing hysterically at the notion that it's been almost a year and she _still_ doesn't know your last name.

You manage to find a happy middle ground, with one hand on her shoulder giving her a light rattle and the other on your forehead, like you were trying to prevent Cat's unique brand of weirdness and silliness from penetrating your brain. "Kid, how many times do I have to tell you that it's Puckett?", you ask rhetorically (look at you, using big words!) before you flop over the arm of the couch.

She doesn't reply, and you didn't expect her to. What you also didn't expect, though, was her joining you by haphazardly throwing herself on top of you. Her face is smushed into your left cheek, and she's got her arms splayed out all about, like she's trying to trap you.

Consider yourself trapped.

The two of you sit there in silence for what feels like an eternity when it really was only three minutes. That's when she decided to speak up, turning her neck to face you, and you're pretty sure you're just about ready to jump out of your skin with how she's looking at you right now.

You've never realized just how much her eyes look like swimming pools filled with chocolate, but then again, you've never really seen them this up close and personal before. You almost don't hear what she's saying because you're so utterly entranced by them, only coming back to reality when she tugs on the sleeve of your sweater.

"Wha? Huh?"

"I said thank you, Sam."

"For what?"

It's then that she goes back to her previous position of pressing her face back into your cheek, and you know she's smiling, and you're kinda glad you can't see it, because that means she can't see you do the same as she speaks.

"For always having my back."

If your heart could've exploded from your rib cage right then and there, it would have. You don't even know what to say or do; the illogical sections of your brain are trying to coax you into enjoying this feeling, whereas the logical branch of said brain is telling you** 'ABORT, ABORT'** and to shove Cat off of you and scold her for being all emotional when beating people up is something you do on the reg. Well, _used_ to. It had been a while since you had actually gotten into a fight. Why was that?

You open your eyes (you didn't even realize that you had closed them) and are instantly met with nothing but the red velvety mane that was Cat's hair.

Oh. That's why.

She was changing you, whether she realized it or not.

And you hated the fact that she was.

Okay, you don't actually hate it.

You hate how it's just happened so easily.

But mostly you hate how much you like it.

"Pffft. Of course I have your back. Don't be silly."

You try to come off sounding hard, but your voice cracks at the very end because she's taken to wrapping her tiny arms around you as best she could, and now you truly are stuck in this awkward position on the couch, like she's trying to meld your bodies together and become one with the fabric. Honestly though, this kinda feels nice, and you almost feel like—

**ABORT, SAM. ABORT.**

You begin to stretch and claw your way out from under her, and thankfully she doesn't put up much of a fight as you slide off, falling onto your butt before quickly shooting straight up onto your feet. It's now her turn to stare at you. You can feel your body begin to squirm and become even hotter, as if she were holding a lamp directly in your face. Is this what it felt like when you were doing it to her before? This is definitely what it felt like before, isn't it.

"You're hungry, aren't you", she states more than she asks, and before you can even think of a response, she's already moving past you to get to the kitchen. And in the .3 seconds it took her to do so, her hand brushes up against yours, and that's when you feel it. That's when you know it.

Oh, who the chiz are you kidding? You felt it and knew it a year ago. It hit you like that taco truck hit Freddie. You just stood there and let it happen, and now here you are, a year later, in the same damn position you were then; dumbfounded and overcome with all these emotions you're struggling to keep a lid on. You were never particularly adept at expressing emotions before, but this? Holy _shit_, this is a completely different ballgame.

You shift your body to look at Cat as she meanders through the kitchen, humming some song to herself as she grabs something out of the freezer. What the hell is it about her that makes you feel this way?

"Sam, I'm making pizza! What toppings do you want on it?"

Well, that's one thing.

You can figure out the rest later.

* * *

**So here's a new story that I got sudden inspiration for after reading (and re-reading) the wonderfully fantastic story 'Subconscious(Monsters)' by scy-ence. I love the characters and the women behind them so I figured I'd try my hand at writing some Puckentine. Idk. I just like writing and exploring different ideas for stories and such. Anyways. Hope y'all like this. Everything else I'm working on will be updated shortly. Laterrrrrrr.**

**And just for some clarification, Sam isn't doing her online school yet because she's still technically in the Seattle school system, and they don't typically start until September, where as Cat's already back because California schools start in early August. Hope that clears some stuff up!**


	2. September skyline

**Heeeeyyy everyone! Here's chapter two! Sit back and enjoy the ride!**

* * *

_September 18th – Nine months until the end of senior year_

You're so bored.

You can't remember a time when you were this bored.

Well, you probably can but you're so bored that you_ literally_ can't.

You might actually die of boredom right now.

Has anyone actually ever died due to boredom?

Imagine that.

**"The victim, Patty Schwab, was found unconscious in her apartment, and coroners are reporting that the cause of death is acute ennui, or as it's commonly referred to on the streets, 'being bored AF'."**

Looks like you're about to have some company, Patty, because Mama is about two seconds away from shuffling off this mortal coil.

Wait, when the chiz did you learn the word _'ennui'_? What's with you and using these big words all of a sudden? Are you actually paying attention during your lessons?

Your eyes lazily glance over to your computer screen, where the dude with the creepy porn star mustache and crow's feet drones on about lettuce graphs and poly-whatever's, and your head begins to throb like it would whenever Fredpuss would start speaking all techno and stuff.

So no, you're definitely not paying attention during your lessons. Then what the heck is it that's driving you to literal death?

You sit up from the couch and look around, then look at the clock and groan in frustration.

It's only half past noon.

Cat's still in school for another two hours.

And you're barely a quarter of the way through your lesson.

You're pretty sure that this would be considered a form of abuse in some countries.

Waaaaaaaaaiiiiittttttt. When did you become so dependent on Cat to remain entertained?

You think of an answer, but the irrational side of your brain decides to rear it's head and give you one you don't feel much like hearing right now.

_You love her._

Shut up.

_I'm not wrong, am I?_

I said shut up.

_Just admit it. You love her. It's okay to love someone. You've loved before, right?_

Yeah, and we all saw how that turned out.

_**You** were the one who pushed them both away._

Ughhhhhhhh!

You crane your neck to face the computer screen, where Dick Justice (what a great porn name!) has just finished his incoherent math babble, and you breathe a sigh of relief, thinking the lesson was over and you could get a small respite from your classes.

"Now in this part of the lesson…"

Letting a guttural yell out, you reach forward and slam your laptop shut. That was enough math and trigonometry and other stupid stuff you didn't need for today. Look how beautiful it was out right now! You should be outside riding around on your bike, searching for new food trucks, or you could pop by Punchy's and pay Goomer a visit! Anything, anything at all would be a better use of your time than sitting here moping and waiting for Cat to get home.

_It's quarter to one._

Yeah, so?

_Doesn't she have lunch in twenty minutes?_

Yes…

_Maybe you could surprise her and—_

**NO.**

_Come on, it'll be fun._

What part of 'no' did you not understand? The 'n' or the 'o'?

_Would you rather go back to your math lesson?_

I'd rather lick another swing set.

_Then you should go see her. Aren't you always going on about how much you enjoy seeing her smile?_

Whose side are you even on here? What gives?

_I'm on the side that's trying to push you in the right direction this time around. Now go._

You sigh exasperatedly, finding the strength within you to sit up and get off the couch. Now came the part where you had to actually drag yourself to your room and, you know, get changed and look somewhat presentable and why do you care how you look? When have you ever cared about how you looked before? What the hell is going on with you?

Reaching your room, you kick the door open and take one step inside before damn near face planting and ending up on_ 'America's Most Hilarious Accidents'_. You gain your footing and turn to look at what the offending item was that nearly made you snap your neck and all you can do is shake your head in disbelief, the smile on your lips belying the rest of your outward demeanor.

Of course she had her stuffed animals strewn all around the floor. You remember her saying something before she left for school about it being Barry the Bear's birthday or whatever and wanting to surprise him when she got home from school _oh god_ she's going to want you to participate in this, isn't she? You instantly begin thinking of ways you can get out of it, and all of them sound ridiculously implausible. 'Oh, sorry Cat, I can't help celebrate your **stuffed bear's** birthday, I've got to...get an emergency growth removed from my toe.' Wait, she might actually buy that! No, because then she'd want to take you to the hospital and that would just cause a whole new mess of headaches.

Your eyes drift down to the bear in question, and you shake your head, resigned to your fate.

That's what the hell is going on with you.

Cat is what's going on with you.

* * *

After a particularly easy (breezy, beautiful) ride over to Hollywood Arts, save for one dipthong who got a little too close to your bike at a red light, you find a parking spot and unlatch your helmet, looking around for any sign of Cat or any of her friends, finding none. This was the place, wasn't it? The Asphalt Café? Your eyes scan the surrounding area and it's just a bunch of empty tables and a closed up food truck. You weren't late, were you? That would be your luck, wouldn't it? Come to surprise her and end up completely missing her. Why did you even make the trip in the first place?

"Are you waiting for someone?"

You immediately spin around and grab whoever it was by the collar of their shirt and throw them down onto the ground, and what you find is someone who could seriously give Gibby a run for his money in the weird ass looks department. "Who the chiz are you and why are you sneaking up behind me like that!?"

The weird mop topped boy groans, muttering something about his shoulder before you shake him again, getting him to look up at you. "Hello? Earth to alien boy, answer me!"

"Hey, you're Sam from iCarly! Ow. Aren't you—"

"Yeah yeah, I know who I am, and I'll sign your face after you tell me why you'd sneak up on me like that!"

Right as he clears his throat to speak again, you hear a series of bells ring, and like that religious dude who parted that big sea that one time or whatever, the nearby doors opened, and a whole gaggle of students piled out of them, making beelines for the precious few empty tables. Rolling your eyes, you let go of the kid's collar and begin to push your way through all of them. How hard could it be to find her? She has bright red hair, for god's sake. You should be able to point her out from an airplane, let alone a group of kids.

After finally making your way through the crowd, stopping only to grunt in the direction of the few kids who noticed who you were, you reach the food truck and begin the search anew. That's when you immediately spot the brown hair with blue accents. Finally! A friendly face!

"Jade!"

"Sam?"

"In the flesh!"

"What're you doing here?", she asks, hand extended upward for a high five (she remembered you're not a hugger, smart girl), one you happily returned. The rest of her crew wasn't far behind, all of them surprised to see you as well…but no Cat. What the heck!?

"I uh…I heard Cat talk about how awesome the food was here, and I had some time so I figured I'd swing by and see what the noise was all about, duh!", you exclaim, stumbling over your words just as badly as you did her stuffed animals. Smooth, Puckett.

"You sure you're not here for anything else, _hmm?_", she asks, your face immediately turning a shade of red you weren't sure was possible. You forgot that Jade was basically taller you. Except she could see right through you. And you couldn't see anything nowadays without seeing red velvet first. Jesus _Christ._

But before you could even get another word out, that's when you see her, walking your way, oblivious to the fact that you were only twenty or so feet away from her. You don't even try to hide the smile forming on your lips as she looks up and notices you. You don't bother to push the butterflies floating around in your stomach down as her eyes light up, her walk turning into a full blown sprint. And you certainly don't give any thought to the sound of your heart pounding against your rib cage like a drum as she gets closer.

You're just glad to see her.

And judging by the way she nearly tackled you to the ground, she feels the same way.

"Sam! Hiiiii!", she happily exclaimed as she latched her arms around your neck with no intention of letting go anytime soon. Not that you particularly wanted her to, but her grip was so tight that you were going to have to pull her off just to be able to breathe.

You can feel Cat smiling into your hair, and you're sure it's just as big and goofy looking as the one on your lips, but definitely nowhere near as big as the one on Jade's lips as she watches you intently, almost as if she were studying how differently you acted when Cat was around. That's when you notice that all of her friends are watching you. Even that doofus Robbie and his mutant puppet.

If your face could've turned a darker shade of red, it would have.

"I missed you."

Ah, there it is.

"Did you miss me?"

You're pretty sure that you're setting a world record for face discoloration, it's so damn red and hot right now.

Jade is grinning deviously. Tori is leaning over and whispering something into André's ear, who in turn whispers something into Beck's ear. Robbie's just gawking at you like the awkward little misfit he is. You don't exactly feel comfortable with an audience watching your every move (ironic given your past internet stardom), but you brush it off as you pull back a bit and look into Cat's eyes. She looks so genuinely happy to see you, and truthfully you are too, but you'll never say that out loud.

"Of course I did, Red."

You're such a liar it's **disgusting.**

The way her lips curl up into an even bigger smile when she hears your words leaves your insides all twisted up, like that knot on your left boot that you can never seem to untangle ever. You're not entirely sure that you like this sensation, but you also don't necessarily hate it either.

That's when you feel your lower lip quiver. Oh **no.** You knew what that meant.

Word vomit.

"Get a room why don'tcha, eh? The janitor's got one that would fit both of ya!"

You've never before in your life been more thankful for someone to interrupt you than you were in this instance, but that didn't mean you weren't about to let that comment slide. Your eyes dart to the source of the sound, and you can see Robbie alternating between scolding his wooden freak show and looking for all the world like he was accepting his date with death.

Smart boy.

Cat pulls away from you, her face it's own shade of red out of embarrassment, eyes looking down at her feet as she muttered something you couldn't understand under her breath. Any relief you were feeling at not spilling your figurative guts out on the floor for all to see is gone, and now you've only got one thing on your mind.

Wait, did you hear someone say there was ham and fried chicken sandwiches?

Okay, _two_ things on your mind.

Making sure that you—

They have coleslaw **and **macaroni salad too?

Sigh.

**Three** things.

Sandwiches. Sides. And slapping the head off that stupid puppet.

You stalk over to that four eyed mama's boy and get right up in his face, fire exiting your nostrils as he meekly tries to apologize for what was said, but you're hearing none of it. What should you even do? You could break his arm and call it a day. Maybe you could punch him right in his silly ass face? Kick him in his giblets? Tap dance on his spine? All of those options sound so enticing. And it has been a hot Seattle minute (you need to trademark that right now, that would look so cool on a Penny Tee!) since you've inflicted violence upon someone. Would any of them care if you did this? You figure Jade wouldn't. Eh, that was good enough for you.

So of course, right as you ball your fist up and prepare to send Robbie into the next stratosphere, that's when you hear Cat's voice, softly telling you that it's okay, that it's no big deal, that she's used to Rex being a jerk. She asks you to not harm him or Robbie, almost pleading with you. You _almost_ choose to ignore her.

You say _almost_, because you feel her hand gripping your wrist, feathery soft in her touch. And suddenly, all feelings of rage and murderous intent have melted away.

She's gotta be a witch or something to get you to stop from inflicting violence with just one touch of your wrist.

"You're getting off lucky this time, Glasses", you say, still maintaining some of an edge in your voice as you stick a finger threateningly in his face. "But next time your little doll says something smart, you're gonna need a mop for all your blood."

And you were content to leave it at that. You felt oddly proud of yourself for not stuffing and mounting that creature on your wall (you definitely wouldn't be admitting that one out loud). Now all you wanted to do was eat. You spun on your heel to face Cat, to see if she was okay.

That's when you heard it.

"I ain't scared of you, blondie!"

You whipped around and, without even thinking, grabbed Rex from off of Robbie's hand, ignoring his girlish squeals (seriously, did this dude have _any_ testosterone in his body?) as you held him out, dropped him, and proceeded to punt him as if he were the biggest, most misshapen football ever. You take a moment to admire your handiwork, watching as Rex flew through the air for what felt like forever, before landing right next to a group of garbage cans.

"Oh, so close!", you hear Tori's voice say, followed by the unmistakable giggles of Cat filling your ears, mind and heart. You glance at her and you're relieved to see that she's smiling again, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, her eyes thanking you for sticking up for her for the umpteenth time.

"Bet you that you couldn't do that again if you tried!", André said as he appeared next to you, clapping his hands together as the rest of her friends were laughing hysterically while Robbie let out a shrill scream, rushing past you to check on his pile of wood.

"I'm willing to take that bet", you respond, fully intent on beating Robbie to the garbage cans so you can try it again, when you feel something tugging on your hand.

Cat's managed to tangle her hand together with yours. And she's still smiling. And now you're smiling again, too.

"Let's go eat lunch, okay? Then I can tell you about all the fun stuff we did in Sikowitz's class today."

Lunch sounded really good right about now. But so did hearing about her day, too.

…

She really had to be a witch if she had you legitimately interested in how her day went.

_No, you're interested because you love her. Duh._

Jesus **Christ**.

* * *

September 25th – One week later

You're surprised you hadn't noticed it earlier. It was staring you in the face the whole time. It's been over a year. How did you not see this before today?

Honestly, you'd be a lot madder if what you ended up finding wasn't so cool.

You sat there, legs folded all criss cross apple sauce (you hated that you picked that up from Tori) as you scanned the surrounding area, in a state of awe as you looked at downtown Los Angeles, with all its cars whizzing by and it's many large buildings and it's blue skies. It was such a welcome change from the drab, rainy Seattle skies and its many, many umbrella toting denizens.

Mostly, you're just impressed at how…peaceful? Yeah, that's it. You're impressed with how peaceful it is up here on the roof. How detached from the drama of everyday life it felt sitting here. You make a note to yourself to bring lawn chairs and a cooler up here so you can create your own little hangout. A place you can have all to yourself.

"Sam, I'm home from school!"

…okay, maybe you should tell Cat about it too.

"I'm up on the roof!"

You're nowhere near her, yet you can actually hear her pause and try to process what you just said. You know the exact look on her face too; it's the same one she has whenever she's presented with a particularly hard math problem (that subject just wouldn't leave you alone, would it?). Or she's trying to choose which stuffed animal she's bringing to school with her. Or she's debating on which cheese to put on the sandwich you usually ask her to make you.

Spoiler alert; the answer is, and should always be, monterrey jack.

"Why are you on the roof? Should I be alarmed?"

"Just come up here! I wanna show you something!"

"Um…"

You sigh. You shake your head. You grin like an idiot. "Go onto the terrace…"

"Okay…?"

"When you get there, look to your left."

Silence. You groan. "Your left, not my left, Cat."

You can hear the light bulb in her head click on, and it's followed by the sound of the glass door sliding open and her shuffling onto the terrace like you instructed. "Now what?"

"I said to look to your left."

"I am!"

You slap your palm to your forehead. "I said **your** left, not **mine!**"

You hear a big, overly exaggerated 'Ohhhhhh!", which is then quickly followed up with the question, "When did we get a ladder?"

She's kidding, right? She has to be. "We didn't. It's been there. I just noticed it today myself when I came back from the store."

"Oh! Did you get butter and eggs?"

What? Is she…? "Yes! Now climb up here and let me show you what I found!"

It took her a little bit, but eventually she's able to get up there, her face twisted into that of confusion and intrigue. Confused that you're sitting on the roof for whatever reason, and intrigued because what was so interesting about the roof of the building? "I didn't even realize we had a roof."

You bite your lip and close your eyes. Of course she would live in this apartment for as long as she has and not realize that. You want so badly to make a snarky remark, but you keep your tongue in check and instead wave her over. "C'mere. This is what I wanted to show you."

You pat the gravel next to you, telling her with your body movements to pop a squat and sit. And so she does, but her eyes are focused solely on you. It's honestly kinda making you uncomfortable, the way she's staring, almost as if she were examining you. It's intense, and you're supposed to be the intense one. "Erm…is something wrong?"

She giggles, and then turns her attention to the little pebbles she's scooped up in her hand. "Nope. Now what did you find?"

Okay…you shake your head and motion with your hands to the skyline before you. "This."

Her head turns, and within seconds her jaw hangs open a bit and she's making that cute (_oh god_) little 'o' shape with her lips that she makes whenever something captures her attention. You had a similar look on your own face when you discovered this, and you're kind of glad that you're here to see her reaction.

"Sam…it's…this is…wow!", she exclaims hurriedly, struggling to find the right words to say, much in the same way you did when you first happened upon this. She kept starting sentences and then stopping midway, eventually giving up on even trying to talk at all, and instead rested her head on your shoulder, the two of you content to just sit there and admire everything.

You check the time on your phone, and you're mildly surprised to see that you've been sitting here in near silence for almost two hours. Neither of you has moved; her head has been on your shoulder the entire time, and even though it started to feel sore a half hour or so ago, you didn't dare say anything or move, because you didn't want to damage her calm. She just looked so…

Peaceful?

Yeah, that's it.

"Oh my gosh, look at the time! I have so much homework", you hear her say as she checks her own phone. She removes her head from your shoulder, and although you're a bit relieved to have some feeling back in it, you inwardly pout at the lack of contact, but no matter. You stand up and offer out your hand to help her to her feet, one which she graciously accepts.

But instead of letting go once she was upright, she continued to hold it in her own. You feel your skin growing hot again, but you do your utmost best to keep a chill demeanor. She's staring at you like she did before, and if she keeps this up, you're sure that you'll wilt like a flower without water.

"It's so beautiful up here, Sam. Thank you so much for showing me this."

She licks her lower lip and for a split second you're a thousand percent positive she's about to lean in and kiss you, but instead she smiles and grips your hand tight for a couple seconds before letting go, beginning her descent down the ladder and back into the apartment.

All while you stand there, a confusing cocktail of conflicting emotions. You give your head a shake, but it does you no good. If you didn't know it before, then you definitely knew it now. The irrational side of your brain was right.

You're in love with Catarina Valentine.

_I told you._

Aw, chiz.

* * *

**And that's that for this chapter! Chapter three will be up as soon as I update Long Weekend. Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. October rain

**Sorry this took longer than usual. Life is still somewhat hectic and on top of that, my computer crashed so I'm using my older, slower model, and it takes forever to get anything done on it. But enough about that, here's chapter three! Enjoy!**

* * *

_October 4th – Eight months until the end of senior year_

_2:28 AM_

**You're not good enough for her. You never will be.**

You feel yourself tossing and turning, trying to quell the voice in your head telling you all the things you thought you'd never hear again.

**Look what happened with Freddie. You pushed and you pushed and you pushed, and he finally got sick of you and left. Now he's on the other side of the country.**

You flip over onto your stomach and bury your face into your pillows, pressing your hands to your ears, as if the voice was actually speaking outside of the depths of your brain. You just want this to end. You thought you were done with this.

**And Carly? She's in a different country all together, far, far away from you, living her best life. Without you. You thought you'd always have her by your side, right up until you didn't. Even Carly got tired of you, when you never thought that to be possible. What does that say about you?**

You want to scream so loud that the entire complex can hear you. Why was this happening again? _Why?_

**She's better off without you around. Happier. She's going places. She's got a future. You're lucky if you know where you're going tomorrow. What makes you think she'll continue to put up with you the way that Carly and Freddie did? You're lucky she didn't throw you out on day one.**

You feel your eyes snap open, fixated on the ceiling, before drifting down and over to Cat's sleeping form. A sad smile of sorts forms on your lips as you watch her chest rise with every breath (it's not creepy, shut up,_ it's fine_). She's such an innocent soul, and in the last year or so, you've managed to completely turn her life upside down. She was perfectly content to live her life the way she saw fit, before you came in like the damn bull in a china shop you are. Everything you touched inevitably turned to shit. Why would this be any different?

"Because I need it to be", you murmur, eyes shut and hands dragging down your face. The voice seems to have stopped. For now. You were okay with that, so long as it led to you being able to fall back asleep.

"Need what to be?"

Craaaaaaaaaaaaap.

You tilt your head to the side so that you're facing her. You see that she's rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and stretching, and for the briefest of moments you catch an all too fleeting glimpse of her bare midriff, causing your mind to go to a place it hasn't gone in…what. Three months?

Damn, three months? Come on, Puckett, you're slipping.

"You need what to be what?", she asks you again, sitting upright, her eyes still weary with sleep but that soft smile still as prevalent as ever. You shake your head, trying to think of what outright lie you're going to tell her this time, when you notice her swing her legs out from under the sheets. What's she doing? Why is she getting closer to you oh okay so we're doing this now, this isn't weird _at all_.

Your bed becomes heavier one Cat, as she's taken to joining you under your sheets, like it's completely normal for her to be this close to you without you either spontaneously combusting and having to be hosed off the walls, or, you know. Full on jumping her bones and having a hardcore make out sesh with her right then and there. The latter sounds way more appealing, but if you're being honest with yourself (something you should be more often), the former is more likely to happen. Because you can't have nice things. Ever.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it", you say coolly, turning over onto your side so that you didn't completely give the game away with the pained look on your face. It's not like she'd understand, anyways. "Just go back to sleep, we've got a busy day ahead of us tomorrow."

You hear nothing, so you assume that she's taken your advice, and now you're just waiting for her to get out of your bed so you can finally try and get some shut eye.

Except you begin to feel her inching her way toward you and what does she think she's doing oh my god she's got her arm around your waist what the fuck **WHAT THE FUCK** oh my god you're going to die or jump out of your skin if she doesn't let go right now oh my good god **FUCK**.

"I always worry when it comes to you."

With those eight words, the cold storage where your heart was began to thaw. Ok, scratch that. It full on melted and your heartbeat was so quick, so loud, you were sure you could hear it echoing off the walls. Oh my god. You don't deserve this girl. You knew that already, but this just drove that point all the way the fuck home. It didn't matter how much you thought you cared about her. It didn't matter how willing you were to move heaven and Earth to make this girl smile and feel good about herself. None of it mattered.

Because sooner or later, whether you wanted to or not, you knew you were gonna push her away.

Just like you did Freddie.

Just like you did Carly.

It was only a matter of time.

* * *

_7:47 AM_

Your arms stretch out every which way, and in doing so, you feel the other side of your bed for Cat, only to find that she's not there. Of course she's up first; she was always the morning person between the two of you, and really, you're glad she got up before you did, because that meant you didn't have to hear whatever obnoxious song she picked for her alarm of the week. Last week it was 'Baby' by Bieber and by Thursday you were ready to throw her phone into the street if you heard it one more time.

Finally finding the energy to get out of bed, you drag yourself into the bathroom to merely splash your face with some water, but you stop once you catch your reflection in the mirror. That's when you notice just how much you've changed. Granted, yeah, you're a Puckett, and your family had a history of filling out rather quickly, quicker than most, but that's not what you notice when you see yourself.

You're heavier. Mentally. Emotionally. Even spiritually. Like you've seen some shit and been through even more. Which, obviously, you have. You could write a book about the continually shitty hand life has constantly dealt you, if you could ever be bothered to do things like that. It always fascinated you, the amount of people who would come up to you and tell you how amazing you were, that you were an inspiration to them, that you must've lived such a charmed life because of iCarly. And you always smiled, thanked them, and told them how much you appreciated their support. That if they put their heads and hearts to it, they could do whatever they wanted, just like you had.

You only now realize what a fucking horrible **liar** you are.

And you wonder what those people who said you had such a 'charmed life' would think if they saw what you had to see every day. Having a mom who checked in only when it was convenient for her, never when you needed her to be. Being related to such a goody good like Mel, who was always better than you at everything, no matter how famous you became. Continually being stuck between the only boy who ever loved you and the only girl you've ever loved, and not knowing what to do with all the emotions that came with it.

It's funny that you're still in the same position you were in then. Funny in the sense that it's actually not fucking funny at all.

_Just open up to her. Talk to her. Show her this side of you. Be vulnerable. She'll understand._

You groan in frustration. At least you could tell this particular voice to shut up, unlike that other one. You hated both of them, but you hated this one a little less. Sometimes.

_Stop ignoring me. You know I'm right. You know she'll listen and be there for you. You know._

It's five past eight in the morning on a Saturday, can you _please_ let me have my coffee first before you start badgering me and telling me what I should do in regards to Cat. Can you do that one thing for me, please?

_Hmm…no. I don't think I will._

Okay, you're starting to hate this voice more than the other one.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Ah, a voice you actually lo-whaaaaaat the hell, Puckett. No. Stop that. Just. Stop that.

The realization that you're in love with Cat is still somewhat fresh in your mind. You had a feeling you felt that way a year ago. You tried ignoring it, unsuccessfully. You didn't want to fall in love with her. You didn't want that baggage again. Not after last time.

That night on the roof last month changed everything. And now all you're doing is imagining what everything would be like if you were together. How happy you would be. How happy _she_ would be, because that's all you really care about. You look in the mirror and see the smile that's now spread across your lips.

Maybe it would be different this time around.

_It will be, if you listen to me._

Don't ruin the moment, ok, thanks.

_I'm just saying._

And I'm just saying tha—

"I made bacon and waffles!"

You were out of the bathroom and in the kitchen quicker than The Flash, already digging through the drawers for your big fork which you saved for breakfasts like this. When you can't find it, you feverishly look up and see that she's already holding it out for you, giggling incessantly.

"I cleaned and polished it for you, because it was pretty nasty looking", she says as you gratefully take your prized possession and follow her to the small table, the smell of bacon awakening all of your senses. You practically floated there, you loved the smell of Cat's bacon so much. You don't know what she does to it to make it taste so good, but god damn if it isn't the best bacon you've ever had. And you got bacon sent to your house every month for a year. Maybe you can find a way to score that Bolivian bacon again…

You're four or five mouthfuls through your waffles when you feel your phone buzz in your pocket, but you ignore it because you were face and mouth first in breakfast, and you stopped for nothing or no one when bacon was involved. But then it buzzed again, and then again, and finally you groaned through a mouth full of whipped cream and bits of waffle when you fished it out and looked at who was intruding upon this most sacred of meals. That's when your face fell and you could feel yourself turn pale. You immediately shoved your phone back in your pocket, hoping to whatever God above that Cat didn't catch any of that.

"Sam, why do you look like you've just seen your mom try and dance the salsa?"

You know, for a girl who needed help with something as basic as operating a salad spinner, she sure was cognizant enough of her surroundings to know when something wasn't on the up and up (god, who are you turning into with expressions like that, _Nevel?_).

"It's nothing, don't worry about it, eat your fruit salad."

The words come out harsher than you would've liked, and she looks a little surprised at how mean you sounded, but she simply shrugs and finishes her own breakfast up, neatly tucking her fork and bowl away on the other side of the table before looking at her own phone, probably checking your schedule for the day. Her eyes light up, unlike yours, which are so dark you'd swear it was nine at night and not nine in the morning.

"We only have one babysitting job today!", she announced happily as she stood up and deposited her dishes in the sink, before grabbing what hadn't been shoved into your mouth and tossing into the garbage. "Chloe and Max are gonna be here at ten, and we only have them until one."

"And then what?", you ask as you reach for two more waffles and fold them into a waffle sandwich, chomping away on that.

**"BEACH DAY!"**

You gulp and nearly choke on the remnants of the food left in your throat. You weren't expecting to have the entire rest of the day off. You were expecting to have babysitting jobs all day, go to Bots to grab some dinner and fall asleep the couch to Toilet Wars and American Pipers on TV. It was your routine every Saturday. You liked this routine. It liked you back. You didn't like when your perfectly fine routine was messed with. Why was Cat trying to mess with a good thing? Did she forget to take her medication last night? What gives?

As all these thoughts rush through the synapses of your brain (again with the big words, look at you!), one thought stops you dead in your tracks.

You. Cat. The beach.

That meant you were going to see Cat in a bikini.

And she was going to see you in one.

**OH MY GOD.**

You jolt upright, eyes wide and panic stricken, and run to your room, past an alarmed Cat, where you grabbed a hoodie and some shoes, and before she could even get a word out, you brush past her again, slamming the door shut behind you as you walked to where ever your feet were gonna take you. You were so shook by this realization of seeing Cat half naked (and the realization of her seeing you that way too) that you didn't even realize you had answered your phone as you walked toward whatever.

"Yeah? What do you want?"

"Well hello to you too."

What the hell was Jade doing calling you this early in the morning? Why was she even calling you at all? Shouldn't she be off with Beck somewhere? Why do you always have so many questions that never seem to get answered?

"Listen, normally I'd love to chat with you Jade, but right now I'm kind of dealing with something so—"

"I need your help."

Humma?

"Humma?"

"Did I stutter?"

"What could you possibly need my help for?"

"I got paired up with Cat for a school project."

"And?" The question comes out bluntly, but you know Jade doesn't care if you're rude or not, because you're basically the same person. "Why aren't you talking to Cat about this? I don't go to your school."

"That's the thing, Puckett, I can't talk to her about it. The project requires us to find out things about the person we're paired up with that we don't already know, so that's why I'm coming to you."

Something about her tone of voice and the absurdity of this seemingly simplistic project feels off, but you're still mildly horrified at the idea of Cat seeing you without actual clothes on to question what Jade's ulterior motives are, so you just go along with it.

"You've known her longer than I have, how could you not know everything there is to know about her?"

Well, not entirely.

"I know enough but I also know Cat amply to know that she doesn't tell me everything, and we've been friends since the fifth grade. So that's where you come in. You're her roommate. I'm sure there's something about her you can tell me to help me."

There was something bubbling underneath the surface, you knew there was, because you were a schemer, and you knew when someone was trying to get one over on you. And nobody ever got one over on you. Okay, except Spencer, but that doesn't count, he's just a lunatic when it comes to pranks and schemes. But you knew when someone else was trying to deceive you.

And Jade was definitely trying to trick you into something. You just couldn't place your thumb on it. You should just hang up and forget this conversation ever happened. Just keep walking. Cat can handle Chloe and Max by herself, right? She's not incompetent, and those two are pretty well behaved for a bunch of rug rats. Yeah. You can disappear for most of the day and then you won't have to worry about Cat seeing all your scars (mental and physical) and your heart and eyes won't explode out of your head and chest and ooze everywhere after seeing her with practically no clothes on, and it'll be okay because running away from all of your problems hasn't failed you before. Nope. Not at all.

_I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are._

_Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't._

**UGHHHHH**. Shut up.

"Who are you talking to?"

You forgot that you were on the phone with Jade and you pray she didn't hear anything else leave your lips, because you don't feel like being cross examined by someone with such a keen sense of interrogation like her. "Nobody. When do you want to meet up and do this?"

"Tomorrow afternoon work for you?"

You run through your mental rolodex and remember that Cat's gonna be at Elderly Acres all day with Nona tomorrow, something about checkers and how she needs to make sure Nona doesn't try and lose her shit when she loses, something like that. "Yeah, tomorrow works. One thirty?"

"Sounds like a date. See ya tomorrow, Puckett. It'll be fun."

You feel a chill run down your spine. A literal chill. You're imagining the devious look on her face and it just makes your insides twist up into a Chinese finger trap of intestines and guts and what the fuck did you just sign yourself up for. You still don't know what that woman is planning, but whatever it is, you're not giving her an inch. You never gave anyone an inch, for better or worse. Why would you start now?

You feel your phone buzzing frantically in your hand again, and you look down at the smudged screen to see that it's Cat texting you.

_max and chloe r here! they wnna kno where u r! :((_

You're in the quick process of shooting a reply back when your phone buzzes with another text from her, and this one just makes you want to scream.

_i need u here, i cnt do this by myself_

You really had to do some research into her family to see if her mom was part of a coven, or her dad was some kind of warlock or something, because there's no good possible reason for her to make you feel the way you're feeling right now as you stomp your way back in the direction of your home. You shouldn't be feeling this way, like you have to rush home and come to her rescue because the kids are being more obnoxious than usual.

But you want to.

You want to be the reason she smiles.

Because when she's happy, you're happy.

Jesus **Christ.**

You kick the door to your apartment open to find Max and Chloe throwing eggs at the walls and each other, and in the corner of your eye you find Cat hiding under the kitchen table, unsure of what to do and looking like she was about to break down crying.

Nobody made Cat cry. You were going to make sure of that.

**"HEY!"**

Your voice echoes off the walls and bounces around for a bit, startling everyone as eggs are dropped and fall from the ceiling. The kids are covered in yolk and egg whites but that's the least of your concerns. You stomp past them and immediately crouch down so you're at eye level with Cat, who's sucking in deep breaths and blinking rapidly, the weakest of smiles on her lips as she looks at you, eyes filled with so much gratefulness. She takes a moment to let go of the table and throw her arms around your neck, bringing your face dangerously close to hers. You can smell the strawberry shampoo she uses wafting through your nostrils, to the point where you close your eyes and bury yourself in her hair, while her lips hover so closely to your ears, her breath tickles them when she speaks.

"You came back for me."

Your lips twitch upward into the_ goofiest_ fucking smile you've ever smiled. You feel like you belong on that dumbass Dingo Channel, you feel so much like a cartoon character with how you suddenly feel hearts flash across your eyes. All because of her. God damn it.

You offer nothing to her vocally, just a short nod and a scaled back smile of your own, before prying her arms from around your neck. You hear Chloe and Max yelling again, probably to avoid the eggs on the ceiling, and that's when you stand up straight, eyes filled with a thousand fires and steam coming out of your nostrils.

Storming over to them, you snatch the eggs they hadn't managed to break out of their hands and throw them on the ground, stomping each one with your boots. You wondered just what the chiz had gotten into them. They were normally so well behaved; you questioned what the hell brought this change about. Then you look into their eyes.

Oh, that's why they were usually so good.

Because they were fucking _terrified_ of you.

As well as they should be.

"What up with making scrambled eggs all over my apartment?"

Their eyes dart between themselves, then to you, then to Cat, who's only now emerging from under the table, back to themselves. They mutter something under their breaths to you, but you weren't having any of this preschool bullshit. Not today.

"Um, I'm sorry, what was that? I asked why you two were throwing eggs all over my apartment and making Cat hide under the table like that. Did you really think I wasn't gonna get mad about the mess you're making?"

They both shake their heads, eyes down on their feet, silence dwarfing them. "Now apologize to Cat."

"We're sorry, Cat!"

"We just wanted to have fun!"

She takes a deep breath to compose herself, pushing strands of her hair back and exhaling. She laces her hand into yours for a brief moment, and you swear to Jeebus it feels like lightning crackling between you as she tugs on your appendage before facing the kids. It dies just as soon as it appeared when she lets go, and you suddenly want to grab her hand yourself, just so you could feel it again. But Sam Puckett doesn't show signs of affection.

Okay, you do, but nothing mushy and girly like that.

_Maybe you should try. It's a good look on you._

Go. Away. Please.

You snap out of chastising the voice in your head to find that the kids are hugging you and Cat, which means Cat's hugging you, and you're standing there, stiff as a board, hands glued to your sides while you count to two and tell them all to let go. Just because you wanted to be around and be as close to Cat as possible (_Jeeeeeesussss CHRIST_) didn't mean you were suddenly going to be okay with the whole 'hugging' thing.

The rest of the time with Max and Chloe goes by smoothly, and by the time Melinda came to pick them up, most of the egg was off the walls and ceiling and now they were gone and oh fuck that means it's time to go to the beach you don't wanna do this you don't want that barrier between you to be broken quick think of something think of anything think Sam THINK.

"Let's go get ready for the beach!"

What the fuck is wrong with you.

You blink and now you're back where you were this morning, staring at your reflection in the mirror of your bathroom. Cat's just outside, a whirlwind of excitement as she throws any and all beach appropriate things into her bag. You think you saw an inflatable pool raft in there, and you silently remark that you could use it to float out to sea and just stay there.

You're only half kidding. Life at sea would get pretty boring pretty quickly.

No bacon. No Wi-Fi. No ham. No root beer. No TV.

No Cat.

You roll your eyes, taking them off yourself so you could stare up at the ceiling, sighing dramatically. What as the big deal about going to the beach, anyways? About seeing Cat in a bikini? You've seen Carly in bikini's plenty of times. Granted, you saw her in a lot more stages of undress, but that's neither here nor there. Why were you freaking out over something as small as this? Don't you have more important problems going on with your life?

Your eyes then slowly flick down to your wrists, lingering on the scars for a moment before you're looking at your rib cage, and then your forearm, and finally your hip. Every mark, every scar, they all had stories. And they would be on full display for the entire world to see. For Cat to see. There was a reason why you covered yourself in as many layers as possible. Why you always wore so many bracelets. And now Cat was going to see you, the _real you_, and, with your luck, judge you just like everyone else had. Carly and Freddie could swear up and down that they never did, that they accepted you for all your flaws, warts, fractures and dents. And you knew that they were only doing so to be nice, to try and sympathize, so that they didn't push you back into those kinds of situations. You were okay with it.

You're not okay with this.

"Sam! Are you almost ready?"

Taking one last glance at yourself in the mirror, you give your head a shake, blonde tendrils of hair covering your face, acting as a veil. You were wearing a blue and white striped bikini top with white bottoms. You scoff.

Carly used to tell you how pretty you looked in it. Freddie couldn't wait to get it off of you.

You're hoping Cat doesn't judge you for it.

"Yeah, I'm coming, I'm coming."

"Well hurry! We're gonna miss high tide!"

Better get it over with.

Pushing the door open, you walk into your bedroom and immediately become frozen to your spot. Your jaw is slightly agape, eyes as wide as can be as you stare at the object that has completely captured your attention; Cat, with her back to you, bent at the waist and wiggling her hips as she continues to shove things into her bag, the tunes of some song she probably sang at some talent show at her artsy fartsy school echoing off the walls.

You're literally speechless. And you're Sam Puckett. You're never speechless.

After what feels like forever (when it was really only thirty seconds), the part of your brain that controls your vocal chords finally gets the message that you need to say something, or you're going to drop dead right there. Literally, drop like a sack of fucking bricks and just die. "Uh..erm..huh.."

Whatever sound you manage to make is enough to get Cat to stop swiveling her hips and turn to face you, that sunshine-y smile of hers shooting fucking sunbeams at you, while you're standing there looking like you just got caught sneaking an extra meatball or seven onto your plate. She's wearing a white bikini with cherries dotted all along the top and bottom, with the top tied into a knot in front, and the bottoms are so high waisted you're surprised she didn't pull them over her head. She…she looks…

"Gorgeous."

"What was that, Sam?"

**SHIT.**

"Uh…I said…um…it's gorgeous out, let's get moving, okay, I wanna find a decent spot and we're not gonna get one if we stand around like a bunch of dummies."

You're a poet laureate, Puckett.

After a few minutes on the road (and Cat using your helmet as a drum again, which irritated you to no end when she did that), she whispered that she knew a stretch of sand that was private and therefore perfect for the two of you, and you gulped so hard you were positive there were cartoon sound effects leaving your lips. A couple of moments later, you parked your bike, and before you could even swing your other leg over to dismount, Cat was squealing with excitement as she hopped off the back, bag in tow as she scurried off towards the bridge that led to this supposed private part of sand. You call out to her, trying to get her to calm and slow down to no avail.

You sigh as you begin walking in the general direction of where she went, wondering what the big deal was about oh that's the big deal, yep, that's a very big deal indeed.

For the second time in twenty minutes, you're speechless. Your eyes dart every which way, trying to take in as much of the scenery as you can. You swear it was as if this was all straight out of a movie, and you and Cat were the co-stars. It really was as if you had your own private stretch of beach all to yourselves. You had to give credit where credit was due; the girl definitely knew her beaches.

Slowly, you make your way to the bridge, kicking your sandals off so you can feel the sand underneath your toes; it's been so long you almost forgot what it felt like. And it's in that moment, when you look up to find Cat, who's enthusiastically waving you over to the spot she laid out for the both of you, that you know, that try as you might, this was it. There was no going back. Once you took off your pants and jacket, your scars and flaws were going to be exposed for her to see.

You suck in a deep breath as you slide the jacket off your shoulders and pull your pants down to your ankles, kicking them off. You exhale.

Cat looks at you for a moment, her face unreadable. She then drags her teeth across her lower lip and, maybe you're seeing things, but you could've sworn that her face turned as red as her hair, a blush creeping up into those cheekbones of hers as she quickly turns away from you, a finger finding its way into her curls to twirl around, and you know for a fact that you heard her giggle as you got closer.

"You okay there, Red?"

She nods her head meekly, her cheeks a normal color now, but you notice she's not making any sort of eye contact with you; she's not even looking in your general direction, only on the waves slowly lapping up to shore.

And so the two of you remained there, making small talk but mostly just watching the waves and the clouds. Nothing about it was overly uncomfortable, but a part of you wished that she would just look at you and say something, anything, you didn't care if she spouted off some random tangent about toilets or why Nona wore a wig, you really didn't care. Any actual conversation would be better than being left with the thoughts you had bouncing off the walls of your skull. The same thoughts you had this morning. Hell, the same thoughts you've been having for the better part of the last six months.

That you're not good enough for her.

You were growing restless, and bad things usually happened as a result of that, so you groaned and stood up, grumbling something about wanting to dip your toes into the water, whatever got you away from her for a few minutes. You didn't expect her to get up and follow you to the shoreline. You didn't expect her to rest her head on your shoulder, sighing contentedly.

More importantly, you didn't expect her to press her hands to your back and push you into an oncoming wave, completely soaking you in the process.

Rising out of the water with hair matted everywhere along your face and eyes, you go to scream at her but end up hacking out a lung as you're pretty sure you swallowed more seawater than anyone is supposed to ever swallow. Are you supposed to swallow it? You didn't care. You were gonna kill her for this.

The sounds of her giggling reach your ears, and sure enough, you feel her make her way over to and splash down next to you. You finally manage to push your hair out of your eyes, and the first thing you see is her, hair drenched and matted to her skin very much like yours was. And she's beaming at you again. You seriously wonder how her cheek bones aren't in constant pain, she's always smiling about something. Wait, aren't you supposed to be pissed at her? Oh yeah!

You reach out to grab her, but despite being in waist high water, she manages to evade you every single time you lunge at her. She thinks this is a game, judging by how much she's laughing and how completely irritated you are at the whole situation. Finally, FINALLY, you're able to grab a hold of her, (slowly) spinning her around to face you. The smile she was wearing mere seconds ago fades, however, and in its place is another one, except this one is far more somber looking. You'd be more alarmed at the drastic mood swing if she wasn't reaching out to push some of your hair away with her thumb, before she's taking your wrists in her hands, holding them up for you both to look at.

"What're you doing, Red?", you ask, trying to remain somewhat even keeled but completely failing with the crack in your voice. She's begun examining both of your wrists and you've never felt more helpless, never felt like disappearing more than you did right now. You don't know what she's thinking as those chocolate orbs slip back and forth between the left and the right, and you don't want to know. You'd rather be anywhere but here right now. You just want to—

"I understand."

Humma?

That sad smile of hers is back, and she somehow manages to look even more breathtakingly beautiful when's upset. She turns her hand to expose her left wrist to you, and you audibly fucking gasp like you're some old woman getting robbed in those awful movies she likes to watch.

There, on her wrist, are scars. Scars eerily similar to yours.

Your eyes slowly drift from her wrist to her eyes, and if looks could kill, the one she's giving you right now would've murdered you in cold blood. She lets go of you, only to wrap her arms around your neck, and for possibly the first time ever, you're okay with it. You even return it with one of your own. You feel your eyes begin to sting, and while you know the real reason why, you tell yourself that it's because you got salt water in them.

Those three words of hers ring in your ears as you come to a single conclusion.

There's no way you're sleeping alone tonight.

* * *

_October 5th – The next day_

"Puckett! You home!?"

You stab your arm out instinctively, thinking Cat will still be there, but you sigh when you grasp at the empty sheets. Flipping over onto your back, you lazily glance at the clock and see that it's half past noon. You groan loud enough for the entire complex to hear before taking your pillow and covering your face with it. Why, dear God why, was Jade here an hour before she was supposed to be?

"Sam? Are you here?"

Your eyes snap open and you're jolting upright in bed at the sound of the other girl's voice in your apartment. You were expecting Jade and only Jade. Why the chiz was Tori here? You bolt out of bed and make a beeline for the living room, ready to give them a piece of your mind, even in your still half-asleep state. You reach the bedroom door when you stop, fragments of your conversation with Jade from yesterday replaying in your head, and that's when you realize that, you, Sam Puckett, had been had.

You bang your head on the door and leave a dent before slowly stumbling out into the living room.

It's there that you find Tori and Jade sitting at the island in the kitchen, Tori giving you an apologetic look and Jade smirking as if she were the devil herself. You should've known something was up with how she was talking to you yesterday, but now you've gotten yourself into this hole, so you might as well try and dig yourself out of it.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty", Jade says in some completely random, hilariously over-the-top Southern accent. "Me and Miss Sally Peaches here were waitin' for ya to rise from your slumber ever so patiently!"

"I don't talk like that!", Tori quickly scolded her, slapping her knee while Jade merely chuckled and stood up to face you. You forget how tall she is, even with the combat boots she usually wears, and you almost feel intimidated as you have to look up at her, into those piercing green eyes, her lips curled into a grin that would make most people tremble with some amount of fear.

Except you're Sam Puckett, and you don't fear anything.

_Do I even need to comment on this? You know you're full of it, right?_

**NOT. NOW.**

"So", you manage to drawl out, eyes flickering between the tall pale wolf in front of you and the innocent bunny she brought here against her will. "I thought you were coming here by yourself."

"I was, until I realized that you'd just ignore me if I came at you straight and bluntly. That's why she's here", she says simply, thumb jerking to her right in the direction of Tori, who has a look of great affront on her face as she too stands up and joins us, eyes glaring at Jade, who's still grinning like she's about to unleash her master plan for world domination. "Kind of a good cop, bad cop thing, you know? I'm obviously the good cop."

"She has a name", Tori says indignantly as she pushes past Jade, once more offering up that apologetic smile to you. "And on what planet are you the good cop? Because I don't know if I would ever want to live there."

You rub at your temples as the two of them begin to bicker and you really don't have time for this, all you want to do with your time is spend it talking to Cat, because after the events of the beach and all the games of Question/Answer you played with her last night, you just want to know more and more about her. You crave it.

"Not to interrupt the love fest here, but is there a reason to any of this?", you ask, your mind already getting the answer before either of them can speak up. "Because if not…"

"We're here to talk to you about Cat", they say simultaneously.

Of course they are.

"Of course you are."

You lower your head, tendrils of blonde covering my eyes, but through them you can see that they're giving each other somewhat uneasy looks, like they don't know what to say or do next. That's when Tori reaches out and places a hand on your shoulder, and your head jerks up so quickly to glare at her you could've sworn you heard bones crack. She shuffles uncomfortably on her heels, awkwardly laughing as she shrinks back to the island, leaving just you and Jade again.

"Why do you want to talk to me about her?"

Jade looks over her shoulder at Tori, and the two of the exchange looks, as if to say to each other, _'You wanna tell her or should I?'_, before Jade rolls her eyes and shrugs her shoulders.

"So. We're going away next month to Florida for a talent show. A bunch of different schools are gonna be there, and the school that wins gets fifty thousand dollars and a trip to Bermuda."

Your eyebrows flatten, lips in a straight line. Your face is, for better or worse, expressionless. You see Tori shoot Jade a worried look, but Jade dismisses it with a simple wave of her hand. This was what you were worried about yesterday? This was Jade's master plan?

"We leave November ninth. We won't be back until the twenty third."

You still don't know what she's getting at, but you do raise an eyebrow. You hear Tori mutter something under her breath and Jade sharply telling her to be quiet. This is what they came over to tell you? That the two of them are leaving for a few weeks? What the chiz does this have to do with Cat?

"We're all going."

Oh. Oh **no.**

"Beck, Robbie, André…"

**Please** no. **Fuck** no.

"Vega here, myself…"

If she says what you think she's gonna say next, you'll collapse.

"And Cat."

Your left knee immediately buckles, and your face would've become acquainted with the hardwood floor of your kitchen, if not for Jade and Tori springing into action and steadying you.

"You're fucking with me, right?", you breathlessly ask, because you don't want this to be true at all, you want this to be some kind of joke Jade's playing on you because you're basically one and the same, and this is definitely something she would do to you and vice versa.

She heaves a heavy, dismal sigh (you didn't know she could experience such an emotion), her eyes flickering over to Tori, who's now standing beside her, hand on her shoulder and giving you a sad smile. And all she has to do is shake her head, and you feel your stomach drop all the way through the floor and down onto the fucking core of the Earth.

The emptiness you're feeling, however, is quickly replaced with rage, and your stomach is about to come out of your throat as flames. How could she not tell you about this? Why would she hide something like this from you? This affects you more than it does her! What was she thinking!?

"When the fuck did you find out about this!?", you nearly scream, causing Tori to flinch and Jade to merely quirk her studded brow upward.

"Language", Tori scolds, and you shoot her a look of death, but she hesitantly trudges on. "We only found out about it on Thursday. Sikowitz is taking us and a bunch of other kids to represent Hollywood Arts. There was no way we could turn something like this down."

Your mind is racing with a thousand and one questions; how're you gonna pay the bills when she's gone? How are you gonna feed yourself? Does this mean you have to check in on Nona while she's gone? The thought of having to babysit by yourself for that long creeps into your brain and you begin to violently shake your head. You were gonna kill her for this, you were certain of that much. How could she do this to you? Especially after last night?

"Listen", they both say, taking a step toward you, both of their hands on each of your shoulders. "She was scared you were gonna hate her if she told you, that's why we took it upon ourselves to deliver the news", Tori says.

"We know this isn't ideal, but this could do a lot for us. Especially Cat. And don't you want what's best for her?"

You shoot fucking lethal daggers at Jade, who's smirking that fucking smirk of hers, and you want nothing more than to wipe it off of her and scream at her and tell her to get out, and then tell Tori to fuck off too, and—

"Yeah. I do."

When the hell did you get so chizzin soft?

_Well…_

Fuck off.

"We'll look out for her while we're down there, okay? We'll make sure she comes back in one piece", Tori offers up reassuringly, and damn it, you see why Cat raves so much about how considerate and genuine and overall nice Tori is. She's annoying as all hell sometimes, but she really does mean well. If anyone was gonna be one of her best friends, you reason, you were glad it was Tori.

"Well, I mean, _you_ can. I'll be busy dragging Beck around and fu—"

"Jade, if you finish that sentence, I swear to Jeebus, you're walking home."

You're also really glad that Jade is Cat's other best friend. She acts like she doesn't care about your little cupcake, but she does.

Little cupcake? Good **lord,** you really were getting to be as soft as fucking two ply toilet paper.

After several more (and even several more) reassurances that everything would be okay on your end and that they would look after Cat for you while they were in Florida, Tori and Jade finally left, leaving you alone once again. Cat wasn't going to be home for a few more hours, and you didn't have any online classes today, so you figured you might as well take a nap and wait for her to come back.

So naturally, right as you flop onto the couch and turn the TV on, is when you hear the doorbell ring. Groaning loud enough for whoever it was on the other side to hear you, you drag yourself to your feet and make your way to the door. The bell rings a few more times, and you contemplate threatening whoever it is that you're going to break their legs, but the words never make it to your lips as you swing open the door.

Before your very eyes, stood none other than…

"Jonah?"

"Whassuppp playaaaaa?"

Suddenly, the skies opened up, and it began to rain heavily as he stepped inside.

How fitting.


End file.
